How and Where to Find Potential Friends

No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it.

Aug 18, 2025

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Welcome! We have five sections in the The Stoic Manual to help you live a distinguished life. The ‘Wealth Playbook’ section will help you build wealth and enjoy the financial freedom and power it affords. The ‘Science-based Tools’ section enhances your physical and psychological health, vitality, stress resilience, discipline, focus, motivation. The ‘Lead to Win’ & the ‘Le Monde Élégant’ sections refine your social skills, relationships & leadership skills — by Dr. Antonius Veritas

P.S: This entry is a follow up for How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I & Part II.

*Summer in Italy, Capri* by Victoria Semykina

“Nothing will ever please me, no matter how excellent or beneficial, if I must retain the knowledge of it to myself. And if wisdom were given me under the express condition that it must be kept hidden and not uttered, I should refuse it. No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it.” — Seneca

There were days when my phone didn’t buzz once unless it was a food app alert or a work reminder. I’d leave the office and walk home past crowded restaurant patios, watching groups of friends lean in close, laughing in that easy, unthinking way that comes from years of knowing each other. I didn’t have that. I’d tried - dropped hints about meeting up, hanged around after work hoping for an invite - but nothing stuck. It wasn’t just being alone that sucked; I felt like everyone else was good at friendship except me.

When I did get invited somewhere - a coworker’s birthday, a neighbor’s barbecue - I carried the weight of that loneliness with me. I’d stand at the edges of the crowd, drink in hand, unsure where to step in. My small talk ran dry in seconds. People smiled politely before turning back to the friends they actually knew. I left those nights with the same hollow feeling I arrived with, only now paired with the sting of having tried and failed to fit in.

At some point, I stopped waiting for connection to happen on its own. I started looking closely at the people who seemed to build great friendships naturally, paying attention to what they did differently - where they hang out, how they stayed in touch, carved out time, created moments that pulled people closer. Bit by bit, I began piecing together a set of actions that made forming deeper friendships less a matter of luck and more a matter of choice. This guide will share those steps so you can turn casual connections into strong friendships and keep the ones who matter most, closer.