“Consider at what price you sell your integrity; but please, for God’s sake, don’t sell it cheap.” - Epictetus
Doing wrong feels good- at first. It feels like relief after exhaustion, justice after insult, indulgence after deprivation. You tell yourself you deserve it, they deserve it- the retaliation, the comfort, the small rebellion against the endless discipline life demands. And yet, when the dopamine rush fades, you’re left hollow. What Marcus Aurelius called “the wound you inflict upon your own soul” sets in. Pleasure turns to regret. Freedom turns to self-disgust. The victory of impulse becomes character defeat.
Virtue, on the other hand, feels unnatural. It goes against instinct. You want to talk back, to tell the truth, to be seen and celebrated. But as Epictetus warned, “If you wish to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” Doing good often looks weak from the outside and feels unrewarding within. It asks you to bear misunderstanding, to argue well, to influence others, to resist comfort, to delay recognition. And that’s why so few people practice it- because restraint often feels like loss.
What you learn, though, is that wrongdoing never satisfies you for long. Proust wrote that the pleasure we chase “is merely a counterfeit of happiness.” You feel it when you tell yourself to enjoy now and fix things later, when you give in- the short-lived thrill that blends into self-contempt. Every indulgence that violates your values shakes the foundation of who you are. It creates hesitation, makes you distrust your own judgment, and steals the sturdy authority that comes from living in alignment.
When you do right, in contrast, it rarely feels triumphant. It feels ordinary- almost invisible. But over time, it gives you something no indulgence can offer, no power can influence, and no money can buy. Peace. A tranquility that doesn’t depend on praise or luck or circumstance. Each time you choose rationality over impulse, you fuel the bonfire of your sovereignty. I know you’ve seen it often in your life. Musonius Rufus summarized this idea well,
“If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labor passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures.”
And I want you to understand that the real discipline is never about denying yourself pleasure- only that you refuse to buy it at the cost of your self-respect and self love. For the Stoics weren’t joyless; they simply refused cheap joy. And in the end, that’s the higher pleasure. To walk through life unashamed, knowing that what you’ve built inside can’t be undone by a moment’s weakness. Nothing hurts more than knowing you could’ve done better- and didn’t. It’s time you stopped betraying yourself for nothing.
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P.P.S: Most people loved the series on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III. Also check out the practical entries on How To Deal With Toxic People, How to Process & Overcome Grief & How to Prevent and Overcome Burnout. Happy reading!
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The framing of wrongdoing as that initial rush that curdles into something bitter. I've felt that enough times to know it's true. The hollow part comes quicker than you'd think.
What gets me is the line about virtue feeling unnatural, going against instinct. That's the part people don't talk about enough. Doing the right thing often doesn't feel heroic in the moment. It feels like you're missing out, like you're the sucker who didn't take the shortcut everyone else is taking. Epictetus understood that when he said you have to be content being thought foolish.
The Musonius Rufus part about labor passing but the good enduring... that tracks with experience. The hard conversations, the disciplined choices, the times you held your ground when it would've been easier not to. Those fade in difficulty but grow in value. The opposite is also true. The shame of compromising yourself lingers way longer than whatever relief you got from it.
"Refuse to buy pleasure at the cost of self-respect." That's the calculation worth making. Not denying yourself joy, just refusing the cheap version that leaves you worse off.
The sovereignty that comes from living aligned with your principles, that unshakeable peace... that's worth the work.
I so needed to read this today. ✨✨✨