The Danger with Excess
The things you own end up owning you.
P.S: Most people loved the entries on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III
“So-called pleasures, when they go beyond proper measure, are but punishments.” — Seneca
Abundance feels like a blessing until you realize how easily it can turn against you. More strength, more intelligence, more energy, more money - none of it guarantees a better life, it becomes more of a burden, because sometimes, the more you have, the easier it is to waste it. And when we waste it, there’s no one else to blame. Life didn’t steal it from us. Other people didn’t take it. It’s our choices, our mistakes. How many geniuses and prodigies have you seen drink themselves to ordinariness? How many intelligent people live depressed, while others rationalize their foolishness like clockwork?
Take energy as an example. I can work longer than most people without getting tired, which should mean I get more done, but sometimes it only makes me spend time on things that don’t matter, pouring hours into rabbit holes that bring no value or activities exclusive of repose. The problem is I unconsciously let my time slip. That’s why I have to remind myself every day of what I’m aiming for, free myself from the randomness, imagine Sisyphus happy, and use my energy to become the kind of man I want to be, the best person I can be.
The same is true for love. Being apart from someone you care about doesn’t have to be bad. It can make the bond even stronger if you’re not needy and understand the timelessness behind yearning. But if you blame distance for weakening love, it means you haven’t put in the work to keep it alive - love is a skill.
Even in small things like nootropics, even though they’re useful, the lesson is the same. When you rely on them too much, you feel like you can’t do without them, like you’ve lost your agency. When you take a step back, you remember you’re human, not a machine that needs hacks to keep running.
Modern life makes it even harder. Think about social media. It doesn’t steal our time - we give it away on purpose. We like to blame the apps for distracting us, but really, it’s us not setting limits or having more interesting things to do with our lives. Order comes back the moment we choose it; peace will never arrive from outside. We must line up our actions with who we really are and stop handing our attention to whatever celebrity gossip is going on.
Even little things can trap us if we don’t mind who’s in control. Too much sleep weakens the will. Too much food destroys our bodies. Too much coffee makes us unproductive when it lacks. None of these are bad on their own. They’re neutral. But if we overdo them, they stop helping us and now own us. You lose the freedom to say no, when wisdom is knowing how much is enough and stopping there. Chuck Palahniuk said it best,
“The things you own end up owning you.”
That’s the thread running through it all. We waste so much time pointing fingers - at our situation, at other people, even at the gifts we’ve been given. But the Stoics remind us: those things aren’t the problem. Power isn’t the problem. Love isn’t the problem. Money, energy, intelligence - they’re not the problem. The real question is, do we use them, or do they corrupt us?
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From the Rabbit Hole Queen: my life becomes a multiverse. Starting with a clear intent and purpose, I become easily distracted by other thoughts my brain is chasing until I can't remember my original inquiry. It's like a tunnel of unopened doors, all leading me away from my focus. Preparation is my only defense. A disciplined mind is a successful mind, otherwise it's just a waste of energy.