on stoicism as a companion
our own lives are the proper material in the art of living.
“Philosophy does not claim to get a person any external possession. To do so would be beyond its field. As wood is to the carpenter, bronze to the sculptor, so our own lives are the proper material in the art of living.” - Epictetus
You come to philosophy when life stops feeling manageable. When the bills pile up, when work drains you, when family asks more of you than you have to give, when loneliness creeps in even while you’re surrounded by people. You turn to it because something inside you tells you that there must be a better, more fulfilling way to live. And there is. Even if contrarian- there is. The thing is that philosophy becomes practical the moment you stop treating it as a museum of ideas and begin treating it as a home- a place you return to when the world stresses you, when fear wakes you at night, when grief sits heavy on your chest, when anger makes you ashamed of what you’ve said, when the future feels like a road with no markings.
It begins simply. You start learning how to depend on yourself for approval because waiting for others to validate you- your work, your worth, your choices- is just unfair to yourself and the work you put in. You feel how brittle life becomes when every small disappointment knocks you off-center. So you try something different. You choose what’s right even when it’s hard and not the most fun choice. You hold on to what matters most even when everything else seduces your attention. You begin to trust that whatever happens can be used for your good, because it strengthens you in turn and it’d be fun to test your strength.
And endurance matters when fear poisons your thoughts, when insecurity makes every step feel dangerous- embarrassing, when procrastination becomes a hiding place, or when the habit of pleasing everyone leaves you stretched thin and resentful. You know these battles. You’ve lived them. Philosophy doesn’t judge you for them; it trains you through them. It shows you how to control your breathing, how to act even when your hands shake, how to stay rooted when doubt pulls at your confidence.
You want to be someone your people can rely on- not perfect, not invincible, but present, honest, and guided by the best intentions you have. You want to walk through scarcity without fear or envy, to trust that you can get through hard days and harsh seasons without betraying yourself, while knowing you’ll figure things out.
And beneath all this lies a more stubborn ache- the struggle to let go of the material weight you carry, the habit of valuing people or things that chip away at your well-being, the fear of never becoming the doctor, partner, friend, or writer you hope to be. This philosophy meets you there too. It helps you build a room inside yourself where you can breathe, think, and reclaim your life piece by piece. It teaches you to protect your time, your energy, your sanity; to avoid the traps that lead to despair; to strengthen your spirit against fortune’s blows; to prepare for disaster without living in dread; to face death- not soon, not eagerly, but without running from the truth of it.
In that sense, philosophy becomes a companion. A fire in the house on a cold evening. A reminder that you can endure more than you imagine, love more deeply than you fear, and live with more tranquility than your past ever taught you.
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P.P.S: Most people loved the series on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III. Also check out the practical entries on How To Deal With Toxic People, How to Process & Overcome Grief & How to Prevent and Overcome Burnout. Happy reading!
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I’m curious to know if you and anyone else here is Christian? I am and despite what I’ve heard some say, I find the two to be quite compatible. Mostly I switch out certain words in stoicism like ‘nature’ or ‘the universe’ with ‘god’.
Does anyone else have any experience of combining both?
Epictetus' words remind us that philosophy is not an ornament or a tool for achieving external goals; it is an art of inner transformation. Just as a carpenter works with wood, we work on our own lives: our perceptions, decisions, and habits. The true "material" is not external, but resides in how we choose to react to the world.