CIV. On Greatness
We might not win every challenge. But no one - no one - should ever outdo us in character.
P.S: Most of you loved these previous entries on How To Deal With Toxic People and How to Process & Overcome Grief.
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There’s an old story about two Spartan warriors who had a wrestling match. One of them won, and someone said, “The better man won.” But the loser replied, “No, the better wrestler won.”
This reminds us not to mix up talent or luck with true worth. Some people are taller, better looking, wear nicer clothes. They might have a deeper voice, win at everything they touch on the first stroke, learn faster, or come from wealthy families. They may drive expensive cars, go to famous schools, or have powerful jobs. And we can try to catch up. If we’re smart, hard-working, focused - if fate permits - we might even close the gap. But some things can’t be outworked. We can’t rewrite our genetic makeup. We can’t change how we were born or the past we came from. And if we always compare ourselves to people who started out better, we’ll only feel awful, envious, inferior.
So what can we control?
Our spirit.
We might not win every challenge. But no one - no one - should ever outdo us in character. In generosity. In grace. In the strength to take a loss, look the world in the eye, and step into the arena again. No one should outdo us in showing love, celebrating others, high-mindedness, resilience, empathy, decency, strategy, self-belief, or how we carry ourselves when we lose everything—or when we finally win. That’s the real battleground. And you never need good genes to succeed there.
Of course, we should still try to get better. Speak clearly. Stay healthy. Work hard. Learn how to lead and be useful. Build strong friendships. Earn more, spend less, invest. Let go of things outside our control. But through it all—make your soul heavier than your body. Let no one prove greater than you in spirit.
Marcus Aurelius wrote that, “At festivals the Spartans put their guests’ seats in the shade, but sat themselves down anywhere.” Wow, right?! That’s greatness of spirit. It's so admirable.
For if you take away money, beauty, status, or schooling—what matters most is character. Who is kind? Who tells the truth? Who stands up when things get hard? Who pushes themselves to get better? That’s what makes someone great. And no one is born with it. You build it, choice by choice, action by action.
Just don’t brag about it.
Epictetus once warned his students, “When your body gets used to simple living, don’t preen over it…if you want to train for physical austerities, do it for yourself, not for outsiders.”
He also said, “Sheep don’t bring their owners grass to prove to them how much they’ve eaten, they digest it inwardly and outwardly bring forth milk and wool. So don’t make a show of your philosophical learning to the uninitiated, show them by your actions what you have absorbed.”
Let your wise actions illuminate the beauty and greatness of your spirit. Don't get caught up feeling bad about what you don't have. And, most important of all, don’t let anyone beat you in the spiritual realm, ok? Be proud of who you are on recollection and see it as enough—that's how you'll be happy, confident, content.
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As always nuggets of wisdom- thank you
True greatness isn’t proven. It’s expressed—quietly, from within.
You don’t need to perform what you know. You only need to assume the state of the one who lives it. Not to impress, but because it’s who you are.
Let your character speak for you. Let your spirit do the work.
That’s the only kind of success that lasts.
~ Kurt Juman 🕊️