Machiavelli and Stoicism on Tyranny Vs Good Leadership
Rebel!
"Toward subjects, one should strive to be regarded with awe rather than with fear. Reverence attends the one, bitterness the other." — Musonius Rufus
“A question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with.” — Niccolò Machiavelli
Power asserts itself and crushes any obstacles to its expression. It has to — if not, then it’s not powerful enough is it? That’s the presumption.
It’s why Thomas Shelby of the show Peaky Blinders refuses to apologize to his enemies after one of his brothers, John Shelby, ambushes a Mob-star by the name Angel Changretta, beats him up along with his henchman and cuts his eye with the razor blades in his cap.
Even if Tommy had promised his family peace at the start of the season, begging for pardon shows weakness and puts his family in grave danger. He tells his brother,
“the only way to guarantee peace is by making the prospect of war seem hopeless. If you apologize once, you do it again and again and again, like taking bricks out of the wall of your fucking house. Do you want to bring the house down, Arthur? … if we lift our heels off their necks now, they’ll just come at us.”
This is a tricky situation. You can’t help but empathize with the protagonist.
Machiavelli was right.
It’s difficult to unite fear and love in the same person. But for the sake of mankind — and because we’re not amid gang wars, good men must try.
The balance lies in inspiring awe.
Awe’s supremacy is more subtle. It recognizes its power and can draw from the darkness if it wants to, but out of clemency and pity for the wrong-doer it chooses not to. Its charming essence lies in its surprising decency, elegance, and tender warmth when it could raise hell.
This is where we could have been hateful and angry with a friend, colleague or spouse for betraying us. For crossing our cherished boundaries. But we show them compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love while being assertive on how we would like to be treated going forward.
Where we could have given up on humanity upon experiencing cruelty, having felt helpless and claustrophobic, but we persist in being good knowing it's the right thing to do, dreaming of the person we'll become for it: more reliable, stronger, the person who fights undeterred for the little light left in the world because everyone deserves to experience it, just for existing.
It’s why we’re here, for each other.
Musonius Rufus says,
"Who of us does not marvel at the action of Lycurgus the Lacedaemonian? For when he had been blinded in one eye by one of his fellow citizens and had received the young man at the hands of the people to punish as he saw fit, he did not choose to do this, but trained him instead and made a good man of him, and afterward escorted him to the public theatre. And when the Lacedaemonians regarded him with amazement, he said: ‘This man I received from you an insolent and violent creature; I return him to you a reasonable man and a good citizen."
Awe lies in doing an act of kindness not because it'll make us look good or that we expect anything in return, but it’s what being human is all about — helping others and building goodwill for you never know what demons someone is fighting.
Your kindness might be the bit of difference helping them make it through the day. You might not realize it, but being alive is consequential. Your energy, intentions and words impact people in ways and extents you can never see or understand.
Try genuinely complementing a person and you’ll see. But I digress.
Awe lies in those vulnerable moments we choose to be strong and assume others have good intentions for us when we could easily be skeptical and defensive having been profoundly hurt before.
It lies, and this is important, in taking a stand and fighting for the fragile people being oppressed by tyrants and teaching any other psychopathic person a crucial lesson on how we ought to treat the rest of humanity — with love, honor, and dignity.
It may take the form of sacrificing long nights to learn a skill that helps many others. Or committing an hour of sleep in the morning so we can get in the workout that makes us smarter, more energetic, and stronger people useful to our colleagues, families, and friends. It's taking on a grand ambition, one that scares and makes you think you’re out of your depth just so the people you care about don't go hungry. So you don't descend into the fangs of poverty. That’s awe.
In that light, leadership gains a whole new and powerful perspective helping you inspire, influence and guide others toward a common goal and eventually, helping them break out of the nest to go after their dreams.
It comes from seeing that people aren't here to serve us, but we — them, and our success or failure thereof is a manifestation of how much we've focused on bettering ourselves to do this job well rather than trying to change people or make them bend to our rules to be who we wish them to be but can never become.
We don't give them a role they're not suited for. We see how they can fit into our life or the position we’re leading and match their abilities and temperament to a role suited for them, and if we see potential, offer them as much support as possible to wear the crown we envision them with.
On the other hand, inspiring fear is what makes most things go wrong. In people's desire to please you as they fear confrontation and what you might do in punishment. They get clumsy at work and make mistakes. They hide important information about who they are and what they like or don't like. They keep secrets. They get too scared to take risks. And when enough resentment builds, they sabotage you or leave you hanging dry when you need them most. Or before you can find out and fix the damage, it’s already too late.
Fear without magnanimity fails because an insecure ego gets in the way. You couldn't entertain the thought that people can be good, they can want to do right by you and if they don't, you can find another person or tribe to help with the same.
It’s why Machiavelli said,
“A prince ought to inspire fear in such a way that, if he does not win love, he avoids hatred; because he can endure very well being feared whilst he is not hated, which will always be as long as he abstains from the property of his citizens and subjects and from their women.”
The beauty of magnanimity inspires a need to impress. You don't want to do wrong in front of it. You make commitments you'd want to honor. You become better because the magnanimous person sees and believes in something good in you — your potential to do better. To be better. To improve with continual practice.
It therefore helps to keep our anger and ruthlessness, which stems from fear, in good proportion for as Seneca says,
"there are more things … likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
Sure, there are evil people in this world, but that's a minority and they deserve all the righteous anger we can muster to paint Earth with their brains.
We can't have the same reaction for when a child refuses to eat, a teenager rebels against our rules and goes to party with their friends, a spouse cheats on you, or when a co-worker decides to submit their work late. No.
Why? Because it's not a matter of life and death. It's not cruelty and oppression. And it's wise to control our emotions along these lines because we know what's merely naughty, what we can let slide and what deserves punishment and in what proportion out of a sense of justice, not misplaced rage or vengeance.
We can be more lenient with petty matters so we can focus on the strategic vision of our work and relationships. And when the worst happens, we can give our darkness, which we've been stacking up, free reign to destroy our enemies and give us freedom — all while heeding Nitezche’s caution that,
“He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster . . . when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you”
This doesn't mean we should suppress the emotions we get from these acts and allow evil to persist. It's inevitable we’ll feel enraged. But with awareness and good judgment, we can stop their trail from becoming full-blown caustic emotions that’ll waste our time and energy and ruin the relationships and projects we’ve been building, while ensuring what’s good for us and the people prevails.
Machiavelli again,
“A prince, so long as he keeps his subjects united and loyal, ought not to mind the reproach of cruelty; because with a few examples he will be more merciful than those who, through too much mercy, allow disorders to arise, from which follow murders or robberies; for these are wont to injure the whole people, whilst those executions which originate with a prince offend the individual only.”
It's prudent to anticipate that people will test your composure. They'll wear on your nerves when they inconvenience you, talk shit behind your back, resist your ideas and reforms, accuse you of atrocities you didn't commit.
You'll want to lush at them, teach them a lesson, punch them in the fucking face.
But the consequences of these egotistical actions are that you'll occupy a position that'll make you vulnerable to attack. It’s therefore better if you learn how to chew glass and stare at the abyss while standing on a high moral ground because you know the long-term benefits of your noble actions.
My favorite French philosopher and mayor Michel De Montaigne tells us of how he quelled the anger of a young man, who would later become Henry IV,
I let the passion alone and applied myself to making him relish the beauty of a contrary picture, the honor, favor, and good will he would acquire by clemency and kindness. I diverted him to ambition. That is how it is done.”
I divert you to ambition.
So, if you need some time to cool off, take your aggression out in the gym, punch something, give your spouse or girlfriend a night to remember. You do what you have to do. Just don’t lose your grip on reality to appease your ego.
The highest wisdom isn't to persist stubbornly in habits that haven't made your life any better, but to remember that you can always start afresh and choose wiser actions. You can try the opposite habit of benevolence and fair punishment while not being too quick to deliver it. And when in doubt, you can find solace in Marcus’ words,
"love the discipline you know, and let it support you."
How people treat you isn't a cue to avoid or scold them, for then you'll be unable to live in peace as you can’t accept that people can be callous, unkind, and stupid. How you react to them is everything. Wish them love and happiness from a distance. You have to keep your mind pure — off negativity.
When you meet the tyrants, be sure to fight for what’s good. It’s your moral duty to speak up and tell them to go fuck themselves. If not for you, for the weak and unborn ones.
And for the tyrants, it’s good they know that even if they have money to buy off influential hooligans to propagate their injustices, they must heed Machiavelli’s warning that,
“Friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured.”
Rebel!
`Til next time
Antonius Veritas.
This: " it’s what being human is all about — helping others and building goodwill for you never know what demons someone is fighting." You don't know unless they tell you or show you by their behaviors. The destructive behavior, or desire to destroy, often come from a place of fear and unresolved anger. It is possible to quell those with kindness and compassion which they have not received anywhere else because they have been neglected and rejected. It's the stuff you find spilling out on the analyst's couch.