LXXIX. How to Stop Making Stupid Decisions
We’ll learn how we make foolish decisions, how other people make us stupid, the 6 biases clouding our judgment, why smart people are the most irrational & the practical tools to become more rational.
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“Your ability to control your thoughts—treat it with respect. It’s all that protects your mind from false perceptions—false to your nature, and that of all rational beings. It’s what makes thoughtfulness possible, and affection for other people, and submission to the divine.”― Marcus Aurelius
It’s a truth perhaps insufficiently acknowledged that a person in possession of youthful confidence must be in want of a good scam.
I remember buying my first phone with the giddy excitement of someone who thought they’d cracked the system. The price was a miracle. The seller was charming. I felt clever, like I was gaming capitalism itself. Of course, what I actually bought was a reminder that no deal that good ever arrives without a lesson tucked inside it. The phone never came. The only notification that rang true, was the deathly silence of getting blocked from the vendor’s social sites.
I once loved a beautiful woman, unreal beauty, the kind that makes you write poetry. She could stop time in a room. But I didn’t realize, even if all the signs were there, she had that effect on several rooms, simultaneously. She distributed her charms with such democratic fervor Aristotle would have been proud. I was more in love with the idea of her than the reality. And when it ended, I wasn’t even mad. I was just impressed at how gracefully she balanced all her options.
I’ve made charming friends—funny, generous, cool—until they weren’t. Betrayal has a way of showing up after drinks and laughter.
And don’t get me started on the dream jobs. I pursued opportunities with glowing descriptions and promising titles, jobs that sounded like they were offering me a chance to do something cool in the world. Only to find out they came with toxic bosses, shady backdoors, chronic burnout, micromanagement disguised as mentorship, and a monthly dose of existential dread.
I once got so angry over a stranger’s political post online that I ruined my entire day. They probably didn’t even spell-check their post. I fought a war in my mind, got distracted at work and became irritated with the people around me. It was a most unprofitable quarrel.
As for my friends, I must confess some have fallen for crypto scams, forex frauds, Ponzi schemes and other get-rich-quick intrigues marketed as, “once in a lifetime chances to financial freedom.” Some even wore suits to Zoom calls. They were that serious.
Looking back, I cannot help but laugh. I could’ve avoided most of these issues. Not all, most. But I was idealistic, naive, stubborn. Dostoyevsky was right—humans are full of contradictions. We’re brilliant and blind, wise and ridiculous. But that’s what makes us human.
“It’s just as though one’s second self were standing beside one; one is sensible and rational oneself, but the other self is impelled to do something perfectly senseless, and sometimes very funny; and suddenly you notice that you are longing to do that amusing thing, goodness knows why; that is, you want to, as it were, against your will; though you fight against it with all of your might, you want to.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
How could we be so brilliant yet make silly decisions?
That’s the theme of today’s entry—irrationality and how to overcome it. We’ll learn how we make foolish decisions, how and why we lie to ourselves, how other people make us stupid, the 6 biases that orchestrate this process, the triggers that send us spiraling, why smart people are sometimes the most irrational, the practical tools to become more rational and stop being emotional puppets, and what it means to live a rational life, integrating rather than suppressing emotions.
And if you think you’re too intelligent or educated to make foolish mistakes, you’re the one who needs this post the most.
Previously,
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I. The Problem with Stupid Decisions
No one sets out to make a stupid decision. That’s what makes them so dangerous.
They don’t arrive looking foolish. They often show up dressed as certainty, disguised as intuition, camouflaged by urgency. In the moment, they feel reasonable. Obvious, even. Sometimes, they feel like the only path forward. You feel the pressure. You feel the discomfort. You want out—and so you move. And it’s only later, when the consequences catch up, that…