Laugh, Don't Cry

Misfortune is never as grave as the real loss of not being here at all.

Aug 28, 2025

P.S: Most people loved the entries on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III. Also check out the entries on How To Deal With Toxic People & How to Prevent and Overcome Burnout.

*Shot in the Dark*, 1943 by Tom Lovell. The title *"Shot in the Dark"* is an idiom that goes beyond the literal gunshot as seen in the bullet hole on the door (left), symbolizing a desperate attempt or a risky action taken with incomplete information and an uncertain outcome.

This is the song I listened to on repeat while writing this piece. I recommend listening to it while you read for the immersive experience,

“We should take a lighter view of things and bear them with an easy spirit, for it is more human to laugh at life than to lament it.” — Seneca

“I must die. But must I die bawling? I must be put in chains – but moaning and groaning too? I must be exiled; but is there anything to keep me from going with a smile, calm and self-composed?” — Epictetus

Suppose we lost everything - money, status, the comforts that make us feel secure. What would be left to us? Funnily enough, only laughter. Because to a Stoic, life has always been merciless in its whims. To live is to wrestle with trials. To expect fortune to protect us is an illusion. When we accept this, we stop demanding fairness from the world and start asking what it demands from us. Hardship then becomes our sandpaper. It refines us, makes us tougher, more cunning, more capable of moving through the chaos without giving up.

For example, wealth will arrive in its crooked, zigzagging way, and that’s fine. What matters is not speed but our overall direction. We can learn to walk patiently, enjoying the process that others fear. Why envy another’s success when it has no bearing on our own? Why measure our timeline against theirs? Fidelity to our purpose, to rationality, is our advantage. Step after step, day after day, chiseling our path while others waste energy comparing, boasting, pretending. We can laugh at the fools who underestimate us because we know what they don’t; our plans run dark and impenetrable as night and when we strike - we fall like thunderbolt. Besides, the loudest guy bragging about his “big wins” usually has an overdraft the size of a small country.

Of course, the road is long and the weight of work grows heavier with each year. There will be mornings when exhaustion glues us to our beds, when laziness seduces us, when the body and mind revolt. Yet it’s still within our reach to meet each task as it comes, one by one, without panic, without haste. With courage, with promptness, with a light smile if we can manage it. Fear and anhedonia lose their grip when we refuse to fight them and instead let them pass through us. Every burden, if endured, is shaping us into what we’re meant to become. Better doctors, better writers, better men and women, better leaders. And if none of that works, at least you can still impress people by carrying your groceries in one trip.

Loneliness often lingers in this process, and it’s tempting to believe that means we’re failing. But solitude can be fertile in ways shallow company never is. A handful of true friends - found slowly, cultivated deliberately - outweighs a sea of false ones. Life is long, and there’s no need to rush into half-hearted connections. If we keep putting our best foot forward, with love and openness, the right companions will eventually meet us on the path. Depth requires patience. And nothing highlights the value of genuine friendship quite like attending a party where you don’t know anyone and realizing the chips are the only ones glad you came.

And so we arrive at the central absurdity of life; it is messy, imperfect, and disappointing by nature. People will fail us. Suffering will return again and again. But why cry over inevitabilities? Better to carry lightness where others drown in bitterness. Better to meet the world with lightheartedness, to flow with the currents instead of thrashing against them. Laughing subconsciously signals freedom against what would otherwise crush us, it’s a revolt against the negativity that would chain our minds. Because if we can’t laugh at life’s nonsense, we’ll end up yelling at printers that refuse to work even though they’re clearly plugged in.

Even when we hover at the edge of ruin, when money is scarce and tomorrow looks bleak, there is still reason to laugh. Because the truth is simple; we only need to show up and do our best. Setbacks reduce when we keep them in perspective. Life can turn in an instant, for better or worse, and the game is to keep playing with a light heart.

Misfortune is never as grave as the real loss of not being here at all - to dream, to yearn, to strive, to get tired, to win, then to start all over again, like Sisyphus.

This is where the arc bends downward, into self-collection. Laughter is how we protect the peace and happiness we deserve. It’s how we guard ourselves against despair and remind ourselves that we are still here, still breathing, still able to choose, still picking joy. The world will keep throwing its weight against us, but we don’t have to break under it. We can laugh. And by laughing, we win. Also, it burns calories, which is more than most self-help books can say.

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The Stoic Manual

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