XI. How Micromanagement Kills Performance + What to Do About It
How to handle being micromanaged & when to micromanage. And, on the other extreme, how to deal with weak and indecisive bosses.
Welcome! The ‘Lead to Win’ section is a companion for ‘The Stoic Manual’ to equip you with the best strategies and tactics to succeed at leading in your workplace, parenting, relationships, and business—by Dr. Antonius Veritas. Complement this with the ‘Science-based Health Tools’ and the ‘Le Monde Élégant’ social skills sections.
“When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment. Those persons indeed put last first and confound their duties, who … judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after they have judged him. Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul. Speak as boldly with him as with yourself… Regard him as loyal and you will make him loyal.” — Seneca
I once worked under someone who made me feel like a child. Every report I filed was questioned. Every move I made had to be cleared. Even with years of experience in the field, even with a record that showed results, I was being asked whether I knew how to do basic things. At first, I tried to rationalize it—maybe he was just thorough. Maybe he just needed reassurance. But it worsened. And as the weeks passed, the feeling deepened: maybe I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I didn’t deserve the position I held. That thought lodged itself in the back of my mind, and once it was in, the signs began to show. My confidence dipped. My motivation dwindled. I started second-guessing the very things I used to handle on instinct. I didn’t know what to do with the pressure, only that it was getting heavier. I thought about quitting more than once. I did.
Years later, I found myself doing the same thing to someone else.
I didn’t realize it at first. I just thought I was being responsible—making sure everything was done right. But I was always hovering. Always checking. Always correcting. And one day, the person I’d hired came to me and said, “I wish you had a little more faith in me.” That stung. But they were right. I had buried them under my scrutiny. I had made them feel small. Eventually they left. The project we were working on stalled. I was exhausted, not because they failed—but because I didn’t let them work.
What changed things for me was learning how to manage the different types of leadership gaps, how to build trust when I wasn’t trusted—when I was being micromanaged, how to step up when others wouldn’t, how to micromanage in a way that empowers people instead of breaking them or making them resentful. Once I figured that out, I started getting great results without bosses pestering me, burning myself out while micromanaging or pushing others away.
If any of this feels familiar—if you’ve ever felt undermined through micromanagement or unsure of when to step in and when to hold back—keep reading. What follows is a full manual for navigating all of it.
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