V. Stop Fighting Yourself
You don't wage war against yourself.
“(But what are you doing here, perceptions? Get back to where you came from, and good riddance. I don't need you. Yes, I know, it was only force of habit that brought you. No, I'm not angry with you. Just go away.)” — Marcus Aurelius
I know you'd rather not think of how inadequate your boss made you feel that one time he was mad you made a mistake.
You'd rather not think of how your ex betrayed you, who they betrayed you with, how crushed and inept they made you feel.
You'd rather not think of your shortcomings, how low your bank account is, how you have a big nose, how shy you can be sometimes.
But fighting dark thoughts, doubts, fear, anxieties, and rumination is a losing battle.
You don't wage war against yourself.
We talked about how you should be a friend to yourself a few days ago.
Embracing whatever pops up in your head is much effective and wiser — you love and pay attention to your demons without succumbing to them.
You surrender your need for control. Your ego.
You submit to nature, to what is. To gain power over yourself.
It's a counterintuitive idea. Scary infact.
But fighting negativity gives it more power. It makes it larger than it's supposed to be.
Let it all happen as it wants.
“Seek not for events to happen as you wish but rather wish for events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly,” — Epictetus implores us.
Thoughts aren't the enemy. They pop up in your mind haphazard and you don't control that happening.
What do you do then?
You embody the role of the king, where nothing — big or small, disturbs you.
You put a high price on your emotions and energy.
You ground yourself in your consciousness, where you watch all these thoughts and emotions without reacting to them. Without dirtying yourself with their murk.
That’s how you overcome the nasty force of habit threatening to ruin your day.
Today's task:
Be aware of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions without trying to suppress or avoid them. Watch them pass, like a car from a distance, without judgement.
See you tomorrow. xo