This is How Your Enemies Can Help You Prosper

Friends come from hell.

Photo by Paul Bulai on Unsplash

“A blazing fire (reason) makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” —Marcus Aurelius.

Nature has equipped man with this uncanny ability to benefit from unseemly enterprises: rationality. Enemies, contrary to popular belief, can spur the prudent and bold man into excellence. The following is an exposition of how you can get this benefit and why you should welcome foes instead of living with fear, anxiety and awkwardness — a kind of death, at their behest. They might just be what you need.

1. An overlooked step in creating goals or eradicating bad habits is the usefulness of fear, disgust, and shame. Wisdom is thinking of dire consequences one would like to avoid, e.g. think of the shame of eating a cookie when you had vowed not to, which can catapult one to overcome destructive patterns, fear, hesitation, procrastination, or other petty but exorbitant weaknesses. Disgust toward an idea, an individual, or a group of people, gives rebellion an attractive quality, and in the desire to be distinguished from the enemy, the soul thrives and glows in its full essence. It’s therefore wise to be aware of what one hates, fears, or admonishes, to get a contrast to fight against. Prudence also requires knowing some reproves may be unfounded; and projection can give a man insight into his being, and notice similar contemptible qualities in himself which he can then reproach, correct, and improve from.

2. Without a worthy battle, especially one marked by society’s intensity in its disapproval because it's hard, depends on uncertainty, and contravenes conventional logic, there’s no way an ambitious man can sharpen his mind, wits, and spirit to achieve remarkable success. War sees a man at his most creative, resourceful, and energetic in the struggle to not die. The struggle for freedom. Conquest. Therefore, one ought to have something one would fight for to the death, a path one detests as unsuited to one’s temperament and life philosophy, e.g. one’s energy and time being owned by others in exchange for some pennies. Or a lifestyle inhibiting the nurturing of talent.

3. Conflict is an excellent tool to differentiate friends from foes. Wisdom is thus involving one’s targets in an uncomfortable and abrasive argument to gauge their response. With friends, there’s respect and decorum despite disagreement, but envy and disgust reach an intolerable peak in the enemy, their words and body language betraying real intentions. This way one sheds off the dead weight from their bandwidth. Or one finds a suitable role for the newly found foes.

4. Enemies are a good source of motivation. Imagine them doubting you, determined to keep you down. Take away all you’ve worked for. Imagine them dominating, parading themselves as your superior, humiliating you, saying you’ll never make it. You can never get what’s yours no matter how hard you work. Imagine them corrupting your people into mediocrity. They get off of that arrogance.

   Now let the bit of aggression and anger you feel drive you into a manic rage to win, get better, smarter, faster. Not for approval or revenge, as negativity is but a black hole, but to dominate beyond reasonable doubt, as is your right. That is the best retribution: to be noble, composed, greater, and more refined than they’ll ever be. The following video from the Peaky Blinder’s show depicts the perfect example of the ideal attitude to adopt.

5. One is more careful, meticulous, and bold once one gets an enemy as one can’t afford the pain and shame of a foe laughing at one’s failure. This chip on one’s shoulder forces a man to walk a straight path toward excellence. Embrace pain and avoid distractions with ease.

   Complacency sets in once one loses the enemy’s roughness necessary to polish them. It’s in this spirit that a Roman politician named Publius Nasica said the following to his people after the legions eradicated the devious and indomitable Hannibal, “now is our position really dangerous since we have left for ourselves none to make us either afraid or ashamed.”

6.  Friends come from hell when it comes to art and business. Most will flatter you to your ruin, as they’re afraid to offend your sensibilities; it’s foolish to depend on their affection to guide you. They’re also more likely to tolerate and forgive your misdeeds, which doesn’t help you. You must therefore think of foes as gifts from the gods to help you notice the faults in your plans.

7. Criticism, however harsh, from estimable enemies can provide the necessary material to rectify and recalibrate one’s moves. If, however, critics say something one doesn’t reckon as an attribute to one’s character, it’s good to still use it, rather than get offended, as a bulwark to ever doing it.

8. It’s wise to practice the art of composure against the enemy's insults and snares. To observe the anger, defensiveness, the desire to retaliate or whine, the feeling of being wronged, and the elicited feeling of inferiority, without giving in to it, while practicing wisdom, remaining civil, and maintaining high-mindedness is a lost art, but one of the most powerful exercises for well-being, joy, and fulfillment one can alight at. This training readies one to practice wisdom when needed most. 

9. Enemies are a chance to showcase one’s eminence in character through goodwill, kindness, and if one is able, love rather than hate. Prudence is knowing a foe’s actions don’t affect one’s wise response. One then adds another strength to their character: to find it easy to praise one’s friends when they win.

10. It’s good to study an enemy’s actions, character, words, and life to see how those factors contributed to their wins and losses and learn what to do and what not to do. They are worthy enemies for a reason, and it’s good to respect their tenacity even though geared toward questionable ends. That analysis helps one overcome the impotent inertia of hate and envy. 

Remember, foolishness is getting caught up in the ecstatic rush of creating and fighting enemies. It’s a tool to use when needed, not a way of life. Respect people and make friends. Only when it’s inevitable should one aim to use worthy foes as tools to lead a great life.

This practice also involves facing a lot of darkness: wrath, pride, lust, and envy, but instead of ignoring one’s true feelings and thus repressing them, it’s good to accept, befriend, and feed the demons love and compassion, while confident and detached, so they don’t sabotage our strategic ends.