Social Skills V. How to Avoid Being Boring
You'll learn how to avoid being boring—what fun traits to embody and what to steer clear off, be exciting to be around, and enjoy an interesting and fulfilling social experience.
Welcome! The Le Monde Élégant section is a companion to The Stoic Manual to help you master people skills: the art of effortless connection, making friends, seducing lovers, swaying hearts and minds with grace, and cultivating an aura of undeniable allure with the timeless secrets of refined society, for a distinguished life. Complement this with the ‘Neuroscience-based Tools’ & ‘Lead to Win’ sections — by Dr. Antonius Veritas.
“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today…The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” — Seneca
“Even though you seize the day, it still will flee; therefore, you must vie with time’s swiftness in the speed of using it, and, as from a torrent that rushes by and will not always flow, you must drink quickly.” — Seneca
ephemeral
The first thing Adrian felt was weightlessness. The car had skidded too fast on the rain-slicked road, and now it was airborne, flipping. The crunch of metal and the sickening sound of shattering glass came before the pain—a deep, electric sensation running through his body as he hung upside down, barely breathing.
As the smell of gasoline filled his nostrils and sirens wailed in the distance, a scary thought hit him: Is this it? Is this how I die?
Three days later, he woke up in the hospital, blinking against the fluorescent lights, his body aching from head to toe. At first, he felt nothing but the dull weight of his injuries—stitches tugging at his forehead, his shoulder bound so tightly it might as well have been in a vice. And then, like a slow-building wave, a different kind of pain settled in. A realization so sharp it almost made him gasp.
His quest for a bigger cheque had lured him into a trap.
Tears welled up in his eyes before he could blink them away. A hot streak rolled down his temple, pooling near his ear as he fixed his gaze on the speckled ceiling tiles above him. He mourned all those moments he had ‘next-timed’ invitations to go out with his friends, all the times he had observed couples having fun wishing he could experience the same, and all the laughter from his neighbor’s game nights that he had let slip away like smoke yet he could have joined in.
What had it all been for? To be safe? To be responsible? What was the point of having it all, making it through life unscratched, if it meant he had barely lived at all? Life had showed him it didn’t care about how good, practical and rational he was—the grim reaper could end it at any time.
“While we are postponing, life speeds by.”— Seneca
A nurse walked in just then, checking his IV. "You alright?" she asked, noticing his face.
Adrian wiped his cheek quickly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. "Yeah," he croaked, voice rough from disuse. "I think I just woke up."
See, Adrian had always played it safe. He followed the rules, kept to himself, and never took unnecessary risks. He was the kind of guy who double-checked his seatbelt before reversing, who left parties early because he had “stuff to do,” and who, for some ridiculous reason, thought fun was something for careless people.
He decided, right then and there, that he wasn’t going to be that boring guy anymore. There was usefulness in advancing his career and building wealth, but life was too short, too beautiful and full of fun experiences to live it on one dimension.
Perhaps, you’re like Adrian, wondering how to make your life vibrant and interesting. To embody the Hunter S. Thompson’s idea of a well-lived life,
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
How does someone go from uptight and overly cautious to the kind of person who makes life feel like a movie?
How do we unlock that effortless magnetism, that ease in social situations that turns every interaction into an opportunity for fun?
Let’s break it down in this short essay.
Join 29,700 other readers,
Previously,
