In Praise of Whimsy
Life isn’t that serious, but it is. It’s not a matter of life or death… though it can be sometimes.
“Nature has endowed us with two characters or personae. The first is common to all of us as participants in reason and superior to beasts. It provides the entire basis for decency and decorum, and is the source of our interest in identifying duties. The other is assigned to us as individuals with distinctive traits.”— Cicero
“There’s no point in fighting against nature or in seeking to become what you can’t.”— Cicero
“Don’t be a judger, bro.” — Ken Carson
Life isn’t that serious, but it is. It’s not a matter of life or death… though it can be sometimes. It’s a balancing act. To be too dull, too outcome-oriented and stony-faced is to miss out on the beautiful but often dismissed less practical aspects of our existence.
It’s to miss out on the point that lightheartedness and good results aren’t mutually exclusive.
Sure, we have to make a living and help people, but the moments we spend goofing around with those who matter to us is quite as important. We get to have fun, bond and enjoy exploring divergent personalities. We get to live. Be human.
Life is richly mysterious with many pleasures to surprise and interest us. It’s not the straight line we force it to be. It doesn’t have to be as Marcus would say, “all about business.”
Otherwise, why do we work so hard if not to freely express our freedom, hang out with people we want, make who we want happy, and do what we wanna do without the exclusion of love and compassion?
The whole essence of being serious, one would say, is to facilitate our carefree moments. But there’s no reason that even your critical tasks shouldn’t be approached with some cheer, especially if you’ve put in the reps to master your craft.
And even in war and poverty- even carrying painful truths about the unseemly state of our life, the losses we have to deal with, the dreadful work we have to do, our mortality- you can find joy in that beautiful element of courage, endurance and rebellion to do what’s right. It doesn’t have to be gloomy.
It’s thus, “more fitting for a man,” as Seneca says, “to laugh at life than to lament over it.” Or as Epictetus goads his students, “I must die. But must I die bawling? I must be put in chains — but moaning and groaning too? I must be exiled; but is there anything to keep me from going with a smile, calm and self-composed?”
After all, we can’t, as Alan Watts said, “take seriously what the gods made for fun.”
We have to live. Be perfectly imperfect. Not because we’ve given up on perfection, but because we’re working with our nature as we have it.
Struck with a lust for life, we’re living with our absurdism while marching confidently on our grandest ambitions. We’re sad at the tragedies of life and the longings of could have been while loving this moment as it is- as the universe itself. We live, as Yeat says, “in between the lines.”
In this chasm of duality, we get to enjoy the beauty of life in its change, in its becoming.
“After all, what good is all this profligate abundance of suns, planets, moons, stars, Milky Ways, comets, nebula, worlds in the process of becoming and which have come to be, if, when all is said and done, one happy man does not rejoice, unconsciously, in his own existence?” — Goethe
The fun life is nothing but passive as we still stick to our strict code of values because it provides us with stability, happiness and a flourishing life- helping us have more fun. The major difference being that we allow ourselves to express the fun and weird parts of our character which we’ve learnt to hide out of fear that they would make us different and attract embarrassment and ridicule.
A strong foundation of order supplemented by harmless indulgences, some menacing cleverness, occasional farts, and a tinge of humor is the ideal of an artful life- a consummation of order and chaos integrated in man. For rigidness is a vice and life is too short to be boring. To be bored is a grave sin.
So, “at the least everyone should stick to his own habits, as long as they aren’t morally wrong. That way the goal of decorum is easier to meet,” Cicero says.
This mindset gives us the freedom to express our uniqueness once what’s potentially threatening- fear, anger, sloth, pride, cruelty- is taken care of. When you know that what’s wrong is what hurts others and what’s right is what helps them; when you understand virtue is the highest good and the present divine, then you can express the weird aspects of your personality freely and without fear. It makes you not just another face in the crowd, but a person the world hasn’t quite seen before. Authentic.
It’s good to be serious sometimes on matters as weighty as our happiness and work involving other people. But when we’re by ourselves, at work, with family, a lover, or with our friends, it’s wise to be in the moment- crack some jokes, be silly, fuck around, share a whiskey, enjoy lively conversation, and create fun memories. Without a doubt it’s easy to be lewd, vulgar and take fun too far. But only the composed and self-respecting person can know the limits within which to express himself- otherwise you risk offending others, ruining relationships, and missing out on good opportunities as your selfish indulgences push people away. This indecorum ends up preventing you from committing to your duty, which ought to always take precedence.
Therefore, it’s wise to take heed of Cicero’s words telling us that “there are limits to be observed in play and recreation… we don’t want to abandon all precaution and, carried away by our sense of enjoyment, end up disgracing ourselves.”
It’s in this balance- the playfulness and subtlety with the hefty, the cavalier grasp of life- that you get to loosen up and express the repressed irrationalities of being human without losing your noble qualities. Through it, you become more relatable, more influential, and more deeply connected to yourself and the people around you.
You get to love and live life.
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P.P.S: Most people loved the series on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III. Also check out the practical entries on How To Deal With Toxic People, How to Process & Overcome Grief & How to Prevent and Overcome Burnout. Happy reading!
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Yes, having fun is an important part of life for me. I am perfectly imperfect! Laughing, joy, fun, all bring life into focus for me! Glad you brought this up, people may think Stoicism is rigid but it is not, it is living life fully with wisdom. Wisdom is fun because it brings freedom, freedom to be authentic! Thank you for including this focus on fun!