On Sexless Romantic Relationships
Don't be shy.
A quick update before we begin- I’m in the final stages of editing The Stoic Manual: Meditations on the Art of Living, a collection of 150 Stoic meditations on living well. It’ll be released soon and included free for all Annual and Lifetime members.
Welcome! The Stoics understood that romantic relationships suffer when desire, shame, resentment, and fear begin ruling us. This piece explores what happens when physical intimacy dwindles, why the silence around it can damage a relationship, and how two people can discuss their needs without turning pain into a blame game. It’s about sex, but also about self-rule, honesty, fairness, and the difficult work of treating someone well when you feel unwanted. Prior editions on this Relationship Series include- Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person, When Does an Affair Begin? & Three Questions to Ask Before You Leave or Stay in a Relationship. Let’s get into today’s lesson.
On Sexless Romantic Relationships
“No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone.” — Seneca, Moral Letters, 48
A month after John Milton married Mary Powell, she went home to her parents and didn’t return for three years.
It was the summer of 1642. Mary was seventeen. Milton was thirty-three. We don’t know exactly what happened during those first few weeks in his house on Aldersgate Street. But we’re certain the…