I’m actually going through something similar right now. I was busy typing a rant to a friend - then halfway through it, she wrote to me and told me that her mom was dying - imminently.
I immediately deleted everything that I had already written, and focused all my negative energy towards being positive, and supportive, and caring towards her. That, then, extended to other people in my life - other friends, and even strangers.
I realized how much simply complementing a stranger’s shoes, or holding an elevator for them, or smiling at their child - seemed to just “lighten their load,” somehow.
Random acts of kindness.
It takes a lot of focus and effort to turn the bitterness, and rage, and resentment - or whatever negative feelings you are experiencing - and turning them outward, into something positive.
But the rewards are worth more than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Stoic philosopy as I understand is to bear suffering with strength but its takes more strength for emptahy towards others in grief and suffering and to share pain with them
Distraught but still had to function and carry on … thank goodness for “responsibility” which can go a long way in preventing pathological grief. Grief, especially when experienced for the first time, changes us in profound ways. Hopefully the way it did you. Too many people become angry and bitter, missing out on grief’s gifts, leading a toxic life long after the event sadly has passed 🥲
Excellent reflections!
Thank you for sharing!
I’m actually going through something similar right now. I was busy typing a rant to a friend - then halfway through it, she wrote to me and told me that her mom was dying - imminently.
I immediately deleted everything that I had already written, and focused all my negative energy towards being positive, and supportive, and caring towards her. That, then, extended to other people in my life - other friends, and even strangers.
I realized how much simply complementing a stranger’s shoes, or holding an elevator for them, or smiling at their child - seemed to just “lighten their load,” somehow.
Random acts of kindness.
It takes a lot of focus and effort to turn the bitterness, and rage, and resentment - or whatever negative feelings you are experiencing - and turning them outward, into something positive.
But the rewards are worth more than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Wonderful article. Thank you for sharing this.
Such a day to which I aspire. Grateful for myself and Family, empathetic for others and getting my duties done. Perfect. I thank my Higher Power.
Stoic philosopy as I understand is to bear suffering with strength but its takes more strength for emptahy towards others in grief and suffering and to share pain with them
Distraught but still had to function and carry on … thank goodness for “responsibility” which can go a long way in preventing pathological grief. Grief, especially when experienced for the first time, changes us in profound ways. Hopefully the way it did you. Too many people become angry and bitter, missing out on grief’s gifts, leading a toxic life long after the event sadly has passed 🥲
Deeper than life!