On Anger
The remedy.
A Poison Tree by William Blake
I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see;
My foe out-stretched beneath the tree.
You’ve felt like shouting at a person before. Or probably have several times.
Like beating them for messing up your food order. For doing something that inconveniences you, gets you late for a meeting.
For making decisions about your life without consulting you. For pouring coffee on you and messing up your cool outfit. Annoying you with crazy demands when you’re tired. Talking to you condescendingly. Or repeating the same mistakes you had addressed.
Look, I get it. I also struggle with anger.
You feel people should know better.
You believe, if you aren’t ruthless enough then they’ll keep taking, and taking, crossing your boundaries, embarrassing you — ruining your reputation as a respectable individual. Professional. Or parent.
Violence. It’s the only way you know to protect what’s yours.
Frustration and anger are normal reactions to life’s disappointments. To getting hurt.
And I’m not here to tell you not to get angry. Far from it. I want you to master your rage. To use it because I believe you’re mentally capable of a higher form of living.
For you’d be wise to know it’s much better to have a reputation for mercy and kindness than wrath.
You’d benefit from using rage to illume your words — giving them a sharp and charismatic edge that inspires.
It can give you the energy to fight for the weak, without letting it blind your decisions.
You can use it as fuel to get stronger than the enemy without letting the darkness consume you.
It’s therefore prudent to stake the satisfaction of expressing your anger for your ambition.
The Dangers of Anger
Anger comes from the feeling of powerlessness. The feeling that someone or thing has hurt you on purpose.
That’s why it’s good to know how to express your needs, fight for yourself, and if necessary, walk away from toxic interactions.
It’s why before you get mad at a person, you ought to gauge their level of intellect and wisdom.
You’ll also be wise to entertain the idea that people are doing their best. Or are tired, struggling with difficult emotions, overwhelmed. If not, you risk…
I. Not Expressing Enough Anger
An insidious detriment of anger is ignoring it, taking it lightly.
This way of living results from…