On Addiction
We must give up many things to which we are addicted.
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“We must give up many things to which we are addicted, considering them to be good. Otherwise, courage will vanish, which should continually test itself. Greatness of soul will be lost, which can’t stand out unless it disdains as petty what the mob regards as most desirable.” - Seneca
There’s a seductive gravity to the things that comfort us. You know this feeling intimately- the evening arrives, the night grows quiet, and the screen glows with a promise of fun. You call it ‘me time.’ But the problem is not just that you enjoy the mindless television in the evening or the ritualistic warmth of the morning coffee- the Stoics were never against enjoyment.I’m afraid these things have become the soft walls of a safe room you never want to leave- you’re forgetting who you are. They have come to you as friends, soothing the jagged edges of a demanding day, whispering that it’s okay to disconnect, to treat yourself, to care less. And to turn your back on them, to stare into the silence without the buffer of a digital scroll or a stimulant, feels less like discipline and more like grief. It’s too painful. You fear that if you step out of this warm circle of habit, you’ll be left shivering in the cold.
But you must ask yourself, why is the silence so terrifying? Are you the slave of these comforts, or are they the master of you?
There’s a terrifying difference between choosing a pleasure and being summoned by it. The philosopher Pascal once noted that all our miseries stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone. When you’re addicted to the validation of strangers on Instagram, or sugar and cookies, or checking your bank account as if your soul’s value fluctuates with the numbers, or sex, or gossiping or when you find yourself preening under the light of flattery, you’re merely a passive entity letting life happen to you- being pushed about like a puppet because reality requires something of you, while the addiction asks for nothing but your passive surrender. And that’s why you must rebel and set yourself free so that your happiness depends on nothing else but yourself, so that nothing has a hold on you. You must also apply that same rigorous discernment to the rest of your existence and learn to view moderation as the only key that fits the lock of true happiness. As Musonius Rufus said,
“If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labor passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures”
The ultimate liberation, however, lies in breaking a most insidious chain- the addiction to feeling good.
We often delay our life’s work, waiting for the mind to stabilize, for our mood to be right, for the inspiration to strike. But this is the logic of a fair-weather sailor. If you only sail when the ocean is glass, much to your dismay, you’ll never leave the harbor. You must realize that the path- that highest good, the work itself, the pursuit of your best self- has never failed you, even when your emotions have. Stop waiting to feel good. If happiness comes, let it sit by the fire and warm its hands; enjoy it while it lasts. But if it doesn’t come, you must work anyway and let it catch up. You were not born merely to be comfortable; you’re quite capable of wondrous deeds- born dangerous to your own demons, and alive to the truth. As I always say- you were meant to be beautiful. You must be ready to die to your old ways so that you may finally, truly live. As Seneca wrote,
“The day a man becomes superior to pleasure, he will also be superior to pain.”
Duty and love over pleasure, always.
Now, when at crossroads- torn between indulging an addiction and being the best you can be, creating cool stuff or getting better at what you do, ask yourself these four questions,
What am I addicted to, what do I think I can’t do without?
If I strip away this comfort, what specific emotion am I afraid to feel right now?
What truth about my current reality am I trying to blur with this distraction?
Am I seeking this external validation to silence a critic that lives inside my own head?
How would I replace this addiction?
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"The ultimate liberation, however, lies in breaking a most insidious chain- the addiction to feeling good."
Years ago, I read a story about a basketball player who had incredible talent. A reporter asked an NBA coach about this player and the coach said "he'll never be great". The reporter was stunned and pointed out the player's speed, coordination, jumping ability, and beautiful jump shot. He asked why the coach had a negative opinion. The coach simply replied "he's not comfortable being uncomfortable."
What comforts you can also enslave you. The Stoics warned that pleasure becomes dangerous the moment it is no longer chosen, but obeyed. Silence feels frightening only because it reveals who is in control.
True freedom is not feeling good all the time, but acting well despite discomfort. When you stop living for comfort, you begin living for what endures.