Life's One Big Party
We better have fun before the flaring embers inside us die out at the light of daybreak — as the beautiful stars do under the sun. And the sun soon does under gravity.
“Life is like a play. It’s not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters.” — Seneca
We go to a party to enjoy the narrow moment, forget the tough job we have tomorrow, distract ourselves from past sorrows.
Seneca said,
“The mind must be given relaxation. It will rise improved and sharper after a good break. Just as rich fields must not be forced…so constant work on the anvil will fracture the force of the mind.”
Having an agenda for the party matters. For example to have fun.
It gives us a direction to follow, helps us feel excited and confident in ourselves when we make progress, and imbibes our actions with a magnetic impetus and meaning whenever the cold, dark, blurry night gets tough.
Even the Stoics agreed.
“If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” — Seneca
However, hyper-intention on an objective, the fixated state of mind Viktor Frank talked about — the wet blanket sapping oxygen from the flames of our desires, creates a freezing hell of frustration, desperation, and self-loathing which we’d do well to break free from as it misses the point of living — to dance to the 808s, hi-hats and resounding flow of fate.
Obsessing about outcomes is suboptimal because we make our happiness depend on whether people or things are present so we can enjoy ourselves.
Otherwise, we tell ourselves we won’t have fun. The party isn’t fun.
It’s thus that one person dances to his favorite songs with his friends and the strangers who welcome him.
While another sulks and sits in the dark corner watching other people have fun — wishing for more popularity, livelier company, or the obese pockets my favorite rapper sings about, as the key ingredients to an unforgettable night out, but are only a meager contribution to enjoyment.
Wisdom is knowing that,
“A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness.” — Seneca
It’s knowing popularity doesn’t equal friendship.
Livelier company could be loaded with cheesy drama.
And yeah, we could buy more drinks but it only takes a few more glasses to become a burden to our friends, embarrass ourselves. Wake up with a terrible hangover.
“Pleasures are punishments as soon as they have exceeded due bounds.” — Seneca
Yearning and moping isn’t what we’re here for — a great party isn’t happening with that attitude.
You should have stayed at home.
We have to remember the process toward an outcome is the party.
Not thinking too much about ourselves, being present and deliberate with our actions is the party.
Having the intention and courage to wrestle with the peaks and vales of life, of the party, is what ensures we’ll enjoy ourselves and live an interesting life.
Perhaps you need a tidy maxim to ponder as you go about your day. Here’s one from Marcus Aurelius,
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
And another one from Epictetus saying,
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
Life’s one big party. We better have fun before the flaring embers inside us die out at the light of daybreak — as the beautiful stars do under the sun. And the sun soon does under gravity.