How to Stop Caring What People Think
Learn to co-exist with contradictory and uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.
P.S: Most of you loved this explanatory essay on How Stoicism Actually Works. Enjoy!
“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people, unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so and so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.” — Marcus Aurelius
“I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and with which I live.” — Epictetus
It can be hard to let go of wild guesses of what people think of us. Even more pressing is their opinion of who we are. It therefore happens that we’re often attacked by thoughts such as these:
- “Do people think I’m smart, cool, pretty, ugly, stupid?”
- “What is my ex doing… have they moved on? Are they miserable after parting ways?”
- “Is my colleague happy with my work or is he being nice as it’s politically correct to do so?”
Funny, isn’t it. Even Epictetus pondered the absurdity of it all when he quipped, "If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you'd be furious. Yet, you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you."
Wisdom is knowing you’ll ruin your day by following those negative rabbit holes if you don’t value life itself at this moment, abundant with peace, freedom and happiness.
If you don’t say no to being pulled in by thoughts pregnant with the seductive allure of satisfying your curiosity but with nothing to show for in return for time and mental energy spent.
If you don’t caution yourself, as Marcus Aurelius would, that, “you cannot…