How to Negotiate
Learn how to get what you want.
P.S: Most of you loved this previous entry on How To Deal With Toxic People.
She let the client unload on her for thirteen minutes. Not once did she interrupt. She sat there, breathing heavily through her nose, nodding like it was deserved. He called her disorganized. He questioned her work ethic. He implied she was lucky he even hired her. She apologized three times—once for the delay, once for “not communicating better,” and once because he paused long enough for her to say something. Then she offered him a discount he hadn’t asked for.
Two weeks later, he stopped responding. No final payment. No explanation. Just silence.
It was a pattern. In her first job, she accepted the salary they offered without much negotiation. She told herself she’d prove her value and renegotiate later. She didn’t. They gave her more work, fewer boundaries, and an assistant she had to train—unpaid. In one of her relationships, she did the same thing: apologized to keep the peace, agreed to what she didn’t want and swallowed the resentment only to choke and make her cry at night. She thought that was maturity. She thought that was strength. That it’s what relationships take.
It isn’t.
The cost? Burnout. Underpayment. Chronic tension. People sensed she wouldn’t stand up for herself, so they pushed. Clients delayed payments. Employers withheld raises. Relationships became less fulfilling. She kept trying to be fair—and kept being overlooked.
Perhaps you’re facing the same issue. I know I have in the past. See, negotiation is more than a business skill—it’s the difference between being respected or being used.
In this essay, you’ll learn how to create real cooperation and influence instead of resistance when negotiating. How to use calibrated questions to make others solve the problem for you. How to read a person’s face and posture before they’ve said a word and know when to push or pull back. How to open with “no,” anchor the deal, and get results—without manipulation. The techniques are useful in business, relationships, service settings and job offers. If you’ve ever been steamrolled, low-balled, or sidelined—read on. Negotiation might be what saves you next. By the end, you’ll not only negotiate better. You’ll think better. Speak better. Lead better.
I. Introduction
Every day, you’re negotiating. Whether you recognize it or not. When you ask for a raise. When you set boundaries with a friend. When you argue with your partner, pitch an idea, buy a car, or explain to your team why things need to change. You’re negotiating. The problem is that most people treat negotiation as a one-time event or a last resort—something you prepare for only when it’s labeled a “deal.” But in truth, life is made of these conversations. The more skill you bring to them, the more control you regain over your outcomes.
Most people negotiate poorly. They chase agreement too fast. They talk too much. They mistake dominance for power and confuse silence with weakness. They lean on logic when the game is emotional. The result? They get cornered, lowballed, bulldozed—or worse, they get a false “yes” that inconveniences them later.
The solution is not harder tactics or slick lines. It’s…
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