How to Live Safely

Seneca offers several solutions to avoid the perils of stirring envy, hatred, fear, contempt, and guilt.

Jul 05, 2025

P.S: Most of you loved this previous entry on How To Deal With Toxic People.

*Venice: The Dogana and San Giorgio Maggiore* by J. M. W Turner

The world is full of crazy, foolish and malicious people. We can’t avoid this reality just as we can’t change the weather, but we can control ourselves and how we approach the world to influence our safety and live with confidence. Seneca offers several solutions to avoid the perils of stirring envy, hatred, fear, contempt, and guilt. Let’s begin.

On Envy

If you want to live free of envy, stop putting yourself on display. Don't provoke people’s greed or insecurity by parading what you have, you don’t need to flash wealth, status, or achievement to feel whole. The moment you start showing off, even in subtle ways, you awaken something ugly in others — a sense of being left behind, denied, or made small. This then makes people sabotage or take advantage of you. And what you’re flaunting doesn’t even have to be extravagant. People can resent you for having peace, for having love, for being happy, for having something rare that they can’t get. So protect your joy by keeping it quiet. If something makes you happy, that’s enough. Keep your good life simple and private without playing it small or lessening yourself—you deserve it all. Let your possessions nourish you, not become tools of self-promotion. And if you so decide to promote yourself, do it through your skills and the quality value you provide.

On Hatred

Hatred often has two sources. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves—by speaking without care, by pushing too hard, by stepping on others to get ahead. That kind of hatred can be avoided. Be respectful. Be genuine. Don’t provoke people. Don’t play stupid power games and know how to navigate them tactfully. But other times, hatred comes from no reason at all. You might live gently and still be disliked. Some people hate what they don’t understand. Others project their own pain onto whoever’s near. The lesson is simple: act with sense and integrity, but don’t be surprised if you’re resented anyway. You can control your behavior, not how others react. Let that be their burden, not yours. What matters is that you don’t give anyone a real reason to hate you. And when hatred finds you anyway, walk on. Don’t carry it. Don’t let it shape who you are, your values and whether you’re kind or not.

On Fear

If you don’t want to be feared, don’t act like someone dangerous. People should know that even if you get upset, you’re not hateful. That your anger doesn’t become vengeful. That you make peace easily — you’re graceful. A kind and magnanimous nature does more for your safety than power ever will, Montaigne noted. You don’t need to scare others to be respected. In fact, the more people fear you, the more they secretly wish to see you fall. And they’ll find ways—because everyone, no matter their status, has just enough strength to harm you. It’s a mistake to think fear makes you untouchable. It only makes you paranoid. The man who’s feared most often lives in fear himself. He guards his words, watches his back, and never rests. But the one who stays calm, fair, and open—that person walks free and boldly. They’re trusted. They’re safe. Rarely do they have enemies because they’ve never acted like one. But if they do have enemies, they know how to use and destroy them.

On Contempt

If you're looked down on, make sure it’s by choice—not because you’ve made yourself pitiable or disgraceful. When you don’t fear being misunderstood or dismissed, you take the power back. Contempt only stings when it catches you off guard. But when it can’t be helped, you can rebuild your reputation by associating with people of good character. Just don’t get too close. Associate without entangling. Lean on esteemed people without becoming dependent. Because sometimes the cost of fixing a reputation is higher than the cost of risking it. And above all: stay quiet. Most of the trouble in life comes from talking too much. Conversation pulls at us. It flatters us into opening up. One word leads to another, and before long, what should’ve stayed private becomes public. No secret stays with just one person—everyone has someone they trust, and trust spreads like wildfire. If you want peace, talk less. Speak with yourself more than others. Guard your words the way you guard your money. What you say can’t be taken back, and what you keep to yourself can never be used against you.

On Guilt

The best way to have peace of mind is simple: do nothing you’ll be ashamed of. The person who lacks self-control may get what they want for a moment, but they pay for it in fear. Their mind can’t rest. Their conscience won’t go quiet. Every small noise feels like exposure. Every peaceful moment is haunted by the question: “When will I be found out?” They don’t need anyone to punish them—because they punish themselves. Guilt is its own sentence. It shows up in sleepless nights, in nervous glances, in that feeling that someone, somewhere, knows. And even if no one ever finds out, they do. They can’t forget what they did. Can’t stop wondering who saw. Can’t stop replaying it when others speak of justice or wrong. That’s why you don’t lie. Don’t steal. Don’t betray. Not because you’ll get caught, but because the kind of person who does those things never truly escapes. Even if they’re free, they’re not free. A clean conscience is worth more than any win you got by cheating. It lets you sleep. It lets you breathe. It lets you be in the moment and move forward without the past clinging to your back.

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