How to Combat Negative Thoughts Using Stoicism
You're more powerful than you think.
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius
Personal mastery is a continuous journey towards self-improvement and self-understanding, which entails managing and understanding one's emotions and developing skills and character to better serve others. This process demands mental resilience, strategic thinking, self-awareness, and Stoic practices such as writing for self-reflection and premeditatio malorum — contemplating potential adversities. The philosophy also calls for a realistic perspective on life, acknowledging its complexities and uncertainties and so instead of fear or denial of potential difficulties, it advocates proactive action and preparation for challenges.
That’s the path to peace and combating negative thoughts, and this essay dares to isolate and study the silent virus affecting the minds of countless men, hoping to create a potent vaccine.
At times a man may succumb to apathy, unable to sense the vibrant hues of existence. And in other times he may be tempted by senseless folly ill-suited for the hour. This, as Stoic thinkers declare, is but an aspect of human nature embroidered into the intricate fabric of our very being. Thus, it would be a venture as absurd as it is fruitless for a man to express bewilderment upon confronting these somber specters that arise, unbidden, from the unfathomable depths of the unconscious.
Sometimes, even those gentlemen stirred by an undeniable, ceaseless ambition are occasionally ensnared in periods of vexing doubt, during which the very notion of relentless perseverance feels incomprehensibly futile, particularly if one is at a station in life where cessation of such efforts remains consequence-free. Thus, the mind yields to the irresistible allure of blissful idleness and vanquished temptations make a triumphant return, leading to the collapse of the formerly steadfast framework of self-control.
Those maladies have many sources.
Chiefly among them, is a veritable deviation from the ideal way of perceiving our pursuits — a tendency to invest significance in the destination rather than the journey that takes us there. Even though the act of reaching the end of a great endeavor could give one a lot of pleasure, it soon becomes melancholic, and that’s normal. The wise, however, know that it is the saga of the pursuit itself – the subtly crafted strategies, the ceaseless knowledge acquisition, turning obstacles into ripe advantages, and the disciplined act of training – that catalyzes a delightful tempest of emotions. It welcomes a cascade of adrenaline, dopamine, endocannabinoids, and testosterone, thus conferring a euphoria that makes all toils worth enduring. Paradoxically, many minds grapple with this truth in reverse, which leaves them in a fog of unexplained dissatisfaction, unaware that life’s richest essences are more often found within the struggle rather than the achievement.
It’s thus also an inevitable finding that without the birth of a fresh desire to realize a vision, even after achieving many, life steadily succumbs to a dull ennui; this is the intricate symphony the mind performs to imbue joy and a sense of fulfillment into our lives. Thus, life isn’t what one can get from it, but how and at what scale one serves other people. It’s a never-ending process. However, this practice, devoid of conscious supervision, risks spiraling into turmoil, ensnaring one in professions and goals that society deems progressive instead of what one truly wants, hence the discontent of many in their lives.
Boredom is also fertile ground for negative thoughts, and those without the endurance and wisdom to manage it often succumb to depression and anxiety. These intrusive thoughts prompt one to do drugs, fuck whores or immerse in poor-quality entertainment to escape the pain of unrealized dreams, wasted time & potential, conformity, and lack of self-worth. However, only the courage to face one’s flaws, and see how to become better can bring peace, joy, and confidence.
Rehabilitation from this disquiet necessitates a pivot in cognitive framing, a shift from materialistic aims - laboring for monetary gain to procure luxuries such as cars, houses, or women - to the adoption of a grand objective bigger than oneself. Not to say those goods aren’t useful in themselves, as financial freedom isn’t something to joke with if one wants peace of mind, but acquisition isn’t the central theme of a man’s life. So any fortuitous gems that should emerge on this journey are secondary, essential to the primary aim only in furthering it.
And for those who stand at the inception of their chosen paths, their hands empty and achievements yet unseen, they can take solace in knowing that the wealth will follow if they keep doing the work that fulfills them, a comforting assurance as they continue taking their strides, for there’s no room for negative thoughts if one knows they’re making daily progress.
In some moments, a man may be haunted by negative emotions, born out of enigmatic origins. Despite having been nestled in the comforting arms of restful sleep, despite being nourished by the finest meals, despite embracing the invigorating activity of physical exercise, he may yet find himself wreathed in unshakable gloom. During these periods, it becomes crucial for the individual to untangle themselves from their emotional web, and instead brandish the sword of rational thought to fend off the encroaching shadows of despair.
Why? A larger project lies forsaken to modern man: perfecting his character and skills to become of better service to his fellow human beings. Thus, when he embraces this path to the zenith, doubling his devotion to the unterminating iterative process towards perfection, there are no bad days, only tests of his character — vital tools in the quest to reach excellence.
This tact asks the individual to rise above the sticky hold of his emotions, the anguish, desolation, or worry, utilizing these feelings like—a cue, if you will—to armor himself in strength, harden his resolve, amass more inner power, and validate his deservingness of the metaphorical crown, a seat at the throne, of leadership, and self-respect. By adopting this course, man does not merely react to his emotions—he ascends to their mastery. As such, he is not a marionette danced on the strings of his sentiments, but a commander of his own ship, steering the course of his destiny.
Suffering isn’t just what he endures out of necessity, it’s a chance to affirm what he speculates but is afraid to know: that he is powerful beyond measure.
Attaining such a degree of mastery is no trivial endeavor for many, yet there are certain implements that one can employ. The first is to achieve the necessary mental distance to think clearly. A salient example of such practices is the art of writing, where one commits to paper the relentless, obsessive thoughts and sentiments invading one's peace. What follows is a methodical unraveling under the lens of tacit reason, drawing out the extent of these predicaments, devising strategies or fallbacks on how to handle them, and ultimately arriving at a tranquil acceptance of some issues that lie beyond the reach of one's influence. With persistent training in this solemn art, one might find himself resolving issues or arriving at peace even before the finishing lines of their written introspection, a feat nothing short of remarkable.
Another viable strategy was what the Stoics called premeditatio malorum involving the active contemplation of various times of the day or events that may precipitate these dark waves of emotion. The aim of such an approach is to play out these scenarios within the echo chamber of one's mind, consider all their potential consequences, and make adequate preparations before the storm hits, thus blunting their stab when they do make their appearance in reality for there’s nothing more useful than a good mental algorithm whose running, bestows one with the power to observe chaos from a higher perspective, make good decisions, face the necessary hardships, and hasten the journey to recovery. Nothing.
An adoption of this method necessitates a fundamental insight into the nature of reality: the world is like a swiftly changing pattern on a kaleidoscope, and shows no concern for whether one is prepared for it or not—it is a world where one either learns to swim or sink. And if one finds themselves at odds with this reality, preferring to dwell in a realm of rose-tinted idealism, one risks adopting a view of life that sharply contrasts with its true complexities, leading to an existence that is rendered much harsher by one’s refusal to acknowledge and adapt to the world as it truly is.
For instance, consider an individual who trembles at the prospect of unemployment, or at the thought of toiling under the rule of a despotic superior, subjugated by fear that their refusal to comply might engender poverty, disgrace, and divide upon their family. Suddenly, life's merry spin seems to grind to a halt, replaced by a dull dread.
Upon the revelation of this circumstance, some will meet it with jest, scoffing at its potential actuality. Others may claim to possess advantageous connections and robust relationships with superiors, confident in their ability to negotiate their way out of the crisis. The former are in denial while the latter don’t understand these people aren’t their true friends and so if they aren’t giving any value in return it’s unlikely they’ll get the help they need.
Another segment of individuals may descend into a chasm of despair, surrendering to feelings of powerlessness. As a result, they become compliant, hoping that subservience will safeguard them. They willingly offer themselves to the whims of superiors, effectively turning into corporate pawns — sacrificing their essence. Ultimately, once their utility is expended, they face inevitable discard, a brutal end to their sacrifice.
That attitude manifests as a toxic entitlement, teetering on the brink of insanity, as it's undergirded by the false belief that life holds personal favor, where in truth, existence indiscriminately assails both the strong and the weak without prejudice. And inevitably, one suffers rather than learning to accommodate themselves and maneuver within the contours of reality.
In contrast, a sagacious individual perceives all time as a tool to employ towards achieving their desired ends and he knows providing value is the thread that weaves the fabric of business, companies, and influencers. This person values the power of mobility for they never want to plead under the unyielding fist of bureaucratic systems. The exemplary man also harbors an innate inclination towards exertion, fueled by an impulse to utilize his astuteness and vigor without binding his persona to a single profession, status, or passion.
Therefore, outside of their professional obligations or academic pursuits, they are engaged in collateral ventures that hold the potential to liberate them from the mundane restrictions threatening to render them impotent. This renunciation of the corporate cage is not frantic but composed; not sudden but planned to maintain adaptability. With this power at hand, the rational individual won’t be petrified by the loss of a job, they’ll willingly bid farewell, conveying well wishes to their past association, for not only do they recognize the organization has lost an irreplaceable asset but one also knows their liberation from one commitment affords a widened scope of time and energy to devote to other pursuits. He uncovers another life stage where he can vest the mantle of excellence.
An alternative strategy might involve attaining proficiency in a particular profession, extending one’s skill set, refining negotiation tactics, and improving a professional portfolio. This practice makes transitioning smoother and at best it procures better compensation and opportunities, thereby rendering one a more capable parent, spouse, or provider.
Following this path is a difficult undertaking, and most individuals shy away from it. But wisdom is knowing this feature makes it a rare pursuit and therefore increases its value.
Thus, the difference between the person who thrives and who doesn’t lies not in the character of life’s onslaught but in the individual’s response—their attitude to life's challenges and their belief in their power to transform their circumstances. There exists no one to create contingencies for you, and even if they did you wouldn’t be proud of it as they wouldn’t do it as you would have envisioned it. The sooner one recognizes that fact, the quicker they can commence the task of wielding their power to architect a more favorable life.
You’re the commander. Give and follow the orders.
Most times, the mind often turns traitor, echoing criticism and judgment of others, breeding self-doubt and a desperate need for approval. Consequently, one might exhibit clumsiness, fear, a drop in confidence, and an incapacitating inability to think independently. Living in a like manner is a form of purgatory, a vicious cycle that hinders effective performance and makes for an unhappy life for it’s allowing others to control, use, and abuse our thoughts and moods for selfish reasons.
This misery results when the urge to impress takes precedence over the need to excel in tasks because one's attention is skewed toward the leader, not the work. The superior, in turn, is concerned about achieving desirable outcomes. There’s a clear misalignment. The opposite would be to work heedless of others' feelings, but this only creates silent opposition as one isn’t implementing constructive feedback. What truly commands respect and is resilient to criticism is high performance coupled with courtesy, humility, and open-mindedness because a person attuned to reality and in control of himself will focus on what matters: getting better. It’s through getting better that one gains the confidence to withstand inaccurate criticism and pick out what’s likely to benefit him. Therefore, controlling one's ego and thoughts is ever increasingly important as it impacts performance. It’s in this manner that the wise man doesn’t act out of the fear or compulsion of being criticized, he gains what’s useful from people’s words to steer his course toward excellence.
Combating negative thoughts is therefore an internal process involving acceptance of their inevitability, careful analysis of one’s thoughts and emotions, questioning their validity, having a good attitude (like stress makes me stronger), and creating strong contingencies for whatever is likely to come for no one fully controls the entire chessboard of life. One also ought to have mindful practices like NSDR, writing, or meditation to support resilience amid these stresses, fears, and bland feelings lest one will inevitably resort to older useless habits. Lastly, taking stock of one’s progress on the right path, and consistently picking useful challenges brings the confidence necessary to ask for one’s worth and recover when attacked by fools.
Rationality is the cure. Always will be.
“Liberation from one commitment affords a widened scope of time and energy to devote to other pursuits.”
Best thing I’ve read today. Hats off to you Sir. Excellent reframing of the mental point of origin.