Welcome, ! I know how frustrating it is to have something valuable to say and still feel that you have to fight to be heard. Learning the art of subtle influence can change how people respond to you- and how confidently you lead. We’ll look at that today. If you missed the last edition on 10 Habits That Make Adulthood Feel Less Exhausting, you can catch up right here.
“Become a detective of the right moment…Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.” — Robert Greene
The moment I feel threatened by someone in a group I’m leading, I want to prove that I’m the leader. I become more conscious of my voice, how firmly I make a point, and if people are giving me enough notice. Someone else might begin to draw attention in the room, and suddenly I feel I have a position to defend.
My brain has a reasonable explanation for this. I’ve seen loud, aggressive people get results, especially those whose physical presence makes challenging them uncomfortable. I can be assertive, declarative, and project my voice to get a similar effect but trying to maintain that presence makes me self-conscious. I start thinking I’m an imposter.
An orthopedic surgeon who mentors me gave me another way to approach this.
He would...