CVI. Don't Waste Your Time
Often a very old man has no other proof of his long life than his age.
P.S: Most of you loved these previous entries on How To Deal With Toxic People and How to Process & Overcome Grief.
“So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it. Just as when ample and princely wealth falls to a bad owner it is squandered in a moment, but wealth however modest, if entrusted to a good custodian, increases with use, so our lifetime extends amply if you manage it properly.” — Seneca
It's a great tragedy that a person who squanders his time in unworthy distractions, chasing comfort, and running from fear will one day wake up old. Not wiser. Not proud. Just old. And when he sits alone in his final years, a hard question will haunt him: what did I do with all my time here? And worse, why was I so scared to try? It’s as Seneca observed,
"Often a very old man has no other proof of his long life than his age."
They lived timidly and kept putting things off as if they were immortal. As if the future was always certain.
That’s what happens to people who get comfortable and play it safe their whole lives. Who never push themselves to grow multidimensionally. Who think longevity alone means they’ve won. But what’s the point of living long if all you do is exist, passively go through the motions? If each day feels exactly the same, stagnant? If you spend your life chasing meaningless pleasures and avoiding anything hard? If you spend all the best years of your life working?
That’s not the life meant for you. You can do better - but you've got to at least first admit those four words to yourself. Is it not true that,
“No one will bring back the years; no one will restore you to yourself. Life will follow the path it began to take, and will neither reverse nor check its course. It will cause no commotion to remind you of its swiftness, but glide on quietly. It will not lengthen itself for a king’s command or a people’s favour. As it started out on its first day, so it will run on, nowhere pausing or turning aside. What will be the outcome? You have been preoccupied while life hastens on. Meanwhile death will arrive, and you have no choice in making yourself available for that.” — Seneca
See, you were made for more. You should be able to look back at your life and say, "I did things that scared me. I took big chances. I grew into someone I never thought I could be—at work, with my family, in love, with my talents, and in my character." You’re meant to live so fully that even in your final breath, you smile, because you know you’ve lived, you’ve been approaching every day like it’s a bonus - you get to dream. To do cool stuff. To love. To enjoy some tea.
"Death smiles at us all,” Marcus Aurelius said, “all a man can do is smile back." And enjoy some tea.
Seneca asks us to reflect on some poignant questions today,
“Call to mind when you ever had a fixed purpose; how few days have passed as you had planned; when you were ever at your own disposal; when your face wore its natural expression; when your mind was undisturbed; what work you have achieved in such a long life; how many have plundered your life when you were unaware of your losses; how much you have lost through groundless sorrow, foolish joy, greedy desire, the seductions of society; how little of your own was left to you. You will realize that you are dying prematurely.”
Examine yourself. And do your best to live as if you only get one life, ok?
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Sometimes we need a nudge, a wake up call, to realize now is the time to turn our dreams into our reality. Cancer was my nudge. I survived and vowed that I would focus myself on achieving the goals I had dreamed of for years. I started a podcast focused on stories of people who found redemption after addiction and/or incarceration. I helped start a non-profit focused on helping people living in shelters find meaningful work. I sold my house in the burbs and moved into the city. There are more things I would like to accomplish and I am working on them! The time is now. Dig deep and confront the "not good enough" feelings and make your time in this life count! Or don't...the choice is yours.
This reminded me of hearing someone who said "Don't die with the story still inside you."
Something for me to do something about when so much else has my attention.