CXII. How to Avoid Fruitless Emotions

You won’t feel strong all the time. You won’t always want to do the right thing. That’s normal.

Aug 06, 2025

P.S: Most of you loved the previous entries on How To Deal With Toxic People & How To Negotiate.

“To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.” — Marcus Aurelius

Every day starts with a choice. Will we harness our life-force, or give it away? The world wants our attention the moment we wake up, but it's wise not to give it up without a fight. In between impulse and action there's a space - the space where we decide what to do. That's why, to win the day, and in extrapolation - our lives, even five minutes of paying attention to our breath can grounds us. Meditation expands this space, quiets the demons and reminds us we're in charge in this everlasting battle against externals. Simply watch and feel your thoughts and emotions. The more present you are with what’s in front of you, however uncomfortable it might be, the less negative emotions control you and the more power you have over them.
Trouble starts when we forget our purpose and values. Rarely is it that anger or fear throw us off. It’s the little decisions and preceding thoughts, the propaganda our mind feeds on - checking petty drama online about people who don't even know or care about us, talking to someone who drains us, chasing the wrong goal — other than virtue. Those choices pile up. Then, when strong emotions hit us, it's easy for them to sweep us off because we’re already on a weak foundation - that’s why it’s important to start and end your day with philosophy. The solution isn’t to avoid emotions. Feel what you have to feel. Then ask: does this help me live the way I want to live?
You won’t feel strong all the time. You won’t always want to do the right thing. That’s normal. But you can still remember what matters - push yourself to do your best. Ask yourself: is this helping me grow and enjoy life, or just making me mad? If it’s not helping, step away. Your purpose, not your mood, should inform your actions. Strive to be in the zone, exploring the limits of your willpower, doing good work, and truly enjoying yourself in the process. This means you won't complain. You won't shirk your duty out of fear. You might listen to some melancholic songs, and get your dose of the bittersweet, but you do it while forging ahead. Unhelpful emotions lose their grip when you face them directly. Don’t shove them away, and don’t obey them either. Feel them. Learn from them. Then return to what needs doing. You don’t need to get rid of pain to move forward. You just need to…move anyway.
Some thoughts will try to hold you back. “This is too hard.” “They don’t care.” “You’re falling behind.” You don’t have to listen. Most of them pass if you give them time. All I ask is you don't make a rush, costly decision over something that would have passed, only to cause permanent pain. Take a breath. Perform the next right move. You can absorb yourself in deep work and truly get lost in it. In this flow state the incessant inner voice of worry or self-doubt has no hold over you, and you’re free to do whatever you want to do. That’s how you build your inner citadel - one wise choice at a time. One wise choice at a time is how you avoid fruitless emotions.
Perhaps the most challenging, yet freeing idea is to be comfortable with your death. The peace and strength of accepting your physical death manifests in real life as surrendering your stubborn ego to rationality, to the powers that be - and when you do this, you create a space where you can do your work incredibly well, go the extra mile, push through the day. There's no need to get agitated or complain about anything, for all is good - people will get more oxygen, opportunities and resources when you die. Tough, but real.

Finally, whenever you feel sad and tired, remember to dwell on the awe and beauty of life and bath in it often to wash away the gore and grime.

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