choose love, always

it takes more courage to keep your heart open than to hide it behind pride.

Self-Portrait with Death Playing the Fiddle by Arnold Böcklin. He became fixated on death after his infant daughter died, a personal tragedy that likely fueled the painting’s themes of mortality. The one-string fiddle represents the precariousness of life and the limited time left, as the string could break at any moment. Love, dear reader, before it’s too late.

It’s hard to love openly. You know that. Most of us do. We’ve all given love that wasn’t returned, been kind only to be mocked as stupid, or opened our hearts just to have someone walk away. After that, you start building walls. You tell yourself you’re being smart, being strategic- protecting yourself from pain. You stop giving first. You stop showing affection unless it’s safe. You start waiting to be loved before you love, respected before you respect, understood before you speak. But that waiting kills the soul. For it keeps you locked in self-preservation instead of participation in this grand beautiful life. But you’re not as fragile as you imagine yourself to be.

Being generous with love doesn’t mean we’re ever naïve. Far from it. You’re just strong enough to give without needing control. It’s understanding that love is never a transaction, as we grew up to believe- it’s a way of being. When you love, you’re not losing power. You’re but choosing abundance over fear. It shows how great you are- for it takes more courage to keep your heart open than to hide it behind pride.

There will always be people who take advantage of that openness, who confuse gentleness for softness. Fuck them. Expressing love is more therapeutic than receiving it. It’s how you stay human in a world that tries to make you cold. It’s how you stay sane in a world that thinks nonchalance is cool. You can love people and still walk away when they don’t value it. You can wish them happiness, and go on to cultivate your own joy, your own adventure of a lifetime. That’s the kind of power no one can take from you.

And the beauty is that when you give love freely, life starts giving back in other ways. You meet people who see you. Who want to be around you. You find work that feels meaningful. You stop fighting the world and start flowing with it. Everything becomes lighter. Because there’s nothing more conducive to a good life than love- it soothes the mind, heals the body, and keeps your spirit alive when everything else feels catastrophic.

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P.P.S: Most people loved the series on How to Deepen Your Friendships, Part I, Part II & Part III. Also check out the practical entries on How To Deal With Toxic People, How to Process & Overcome Grief & How to Prevent and Overcome Burnout. Happy reading!

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