P.S: Most of you loved the previous entries on How To Deal With Toxic People & How To Negotiate.
“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us?” — Marcus Aurelius
“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
Anger isn’t your enemy. It never was. Most people will try to castrate you by telling you it is. But rage is not some beast to be caged, a flaw to be ashamed of, or a demon to be exorcised. There’s a nuance. It can be fuel. Raw, high octane fuel. But only if you know how to use it.
Look. I’m not telling you to throw a fit.
Outbursts are a sign of weakness. Shouting, lashing out, trying to bend others to your will—that is the fastest way to invite contempt. You can't control people. You can't force the world to go your way. And the more you try, the more frustrated you become anyway.
But anger itself? That's a gift. An ember. A voice inside you screaming that something isn't right. That something needs to change. Pay attention to it.
When you feel anger flaring, don't ignore, waste or, worse, suppress it. Refine it’s purpose. Let it tell you what you’ll no longer tolerate. Let it inspire commitment to your standards, clarification of what you want, enforcement of your boundaries, and ignition of your ambition. For example...
Angry when people inconvenience, disappoint or cost you your margins? Hold on. The rage you feel is an opportunity to be a better steward of justice. To weigh matters with love, magnanimity, patience and good will. To give the benefit of doubt and only met out punishment when it's indisputably necessary, neither being too eager nor too happy to do so. To remember that we're dealing with a good human being, judging by their character as a whole — they've done good deeds in the past and they're probably just having a bad day. To remember death weighs over us and we don't want to spend our time and energy caught up in petty disputes.
Hate how employers treat you? Time to learn how to stand up for yourself. To practice harder and learn voraciously to start your own thing. Work and adapt until you answer to no one. Or find a better job.
Sick of being ignored and disrespected? Work to earn your self-respect. Build yourself into a nobleman, someone you revere and are proud of in character, dress, and mannerism. Enjoy the confusion on people’s faces when they're unable to fathom how well you live yet don't play the same status games. Yet you don't flatter and prostrate to the powers that be. How free you are.
“You will earn the respect of all men if you begin by earning the respect of yourself.” — Gaius Musonius Rufus, Fragment 30.
Despise feeling helpless? Then use the anger to get up earlier to lift, read and work on your business so you’re wealthier, stronger, smarter — more audacious in your pursuit for power. Vet and vote for better leaders. Start a mutiny. Support rebels. Or get so pissed you decide to be the leader people need.
Use your anger as a cue to turn inward and ask what this situation is trying to teach you about yourself, how to approach the world to get what you want and how to relate to others. To fight for yourself, and against others when needed. To cut through the nonsense, to claim what's yours, to rise on your own terms.
Use your anger. But don’t let it make a fool of you.
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If anger is used properly, it can sharpen your focus to a high degree. There is a difference between a person approaching you with fear and approaching you with respect. Anger properly used can expose snakes that lay in the grass and it can gain loyalty if used to protect others.
This works because it rejects the usual split. Anger isn’t holy or toxic—it’s power. What you’re saying, and saying well, is that it’s not about suppressing it or exploding with it. It’s about directing it.
That line—“let it tell you what you’ll no longer tolerate”—is the hinge. That’s where the shift happens. Not in trying to stay calm, not in letting it boil over, but in actually listening to the fire and asking: what’s the standard that just got violated?
Most people skip that. They either vent or numb out. But what you’re pointing to is where the real work happens—turning anger into action that actually reshapes your life.
This isn’t just a post. It’s a mirror. Thanks for the reminder that rage, when listened to, can become clarity with a backbone.